


Real Life Buddies

by chriswinchester



Category: Supernatural, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Bromance, Brother Feels, Brothers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s14e12 Prophet and Loss, Gen, Hurt Jared Padalecki, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Summaries, No Slash, Protective Jensen Ackles, Supernatural - Freeform, inspired by J2's story from Nashcon19
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:42:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26306530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chriswinchester/pseuds/chriswinchester
Summary: The ending scene in Prophet and Loss is one of my favorite out of the whole show, and knowing the backstory behind it makes me appreciate it even more. After watching a convention video where Jared shares his struggles shooting it, my brain came up with this.--Jared goes back home and can't sleep. Thankfully, Jensen is right there to remind him that he's got people looking out for him - and that family always has your back.--This is the con video I reference in the story: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfzXYyzGmco
Relationships: Jensen Ackles & Jared Padalecki
Comments: 5
Kudos: 34





	Real Life Buddies

**Author's Note:**

> Except for the facts the boys mentioned during the panel, this story is completely fictional.  
> I don't claim to know the reality of their relationship behind the scenes, but that friendship is what's gotten me hooked on the show and so involved with the fandom, so this is just my personal attempt at exploring it a bit more.
> 
> This work is intended to be one hundred percent platonic.

He was exhausted. Completely drained of any energy, and yet his brain refused to shut up, to just leave him alone for five damn minutes and give him a chance to let go and fall asleep.

That day had been the worst of his career, his lowest point on the show, the most embarrassing experience of his life – and he had hated every second of it.

He didn’t even know what had happened: his mind had just shut off, the words wouldn’t come out right, the access to the emotion he was supposed to channel for the scene cut off.  
For fourteen years he had been playing Sam Winchester, yet nothing like that had ever happened to him before – and it had been so damn humiliating.

All those people, those talented, hardworking people who were counting on him to do his best and deliver his lines, waiting for him to finally do his job so they could go home to their families – _all those people_ had been stuck in some random Vancouver parking lot in the middle of the night, freezing their assess off and getting wet in the rain for hours because he couldn’t do the one thing he was supposed to.

He’d seen the way they looked at him, not angry or annoyed but just genuinely concerned, and that had made him hate himself even more for not being able to just get it over with. They deserved better than that.

Looking at the clock again, he read the time: it was currently six thirty am, which meant he’d spent two hours staring at his ceiling, fighting the beginning of a panic attack that had been building up for days. It also meant he only had three hours before he had to get back to set.

He rolled on his stomach and hid his face in the pillow, allowing a tear to escape his eyes. Frustrated at himself, at the situation, at his stupid fucking brain for being unable to work properly, he almost missed the knock on his door.  
When he heard the sound a second, then third time he gave up and got up to go get it.

Without bothering to check who he was he opened it, only to find Jensen’s tall and steady figure in front of him.

“Hey man, can I come in?” he asked, and Jared nodded before letting him into his house.

The dog was sleeping at the feet of his couch, while the rest of the home looked tidy and well kept.

Without saying a word, the two men sat at the kitchen table, the taller one careful not to meet the other’s eyes.

Truth was, he knew there was nothing to be afraid of. That this was just Jensen: his coworker of fourteen years, the one person he’d spent the most time with on this damn planet, his best friend – basically his brother.  
He knew that he’d never judge him, hold his mistake against him; and exactly for that reason he couldn’t bring himself to hold his gaze.

He felt like he had let them down – let _him_ down – and he hated it.

“How are you doing? You freaked us out back then.” Started the oldest.

“I… I’m good, yeah. Good. I’m so sorry about that. It was unprofessional.”

Jensen shook his head and sighed; “Nobody cares about that, man.”

“I do.” Answered Jared, finally looking up, but quickly redirecting his eyes to the white wall behind his friend.  
“I don’t even know what happened, but I kept y’all waiting on me to get myself together for hours, there’s no excusing that.”

And there wasn’t, not in his mind at least.  
So what if he hadn’t seen his wife and kids in weeks? What if for some reason, intrusive thoughts had taken control of his brain and slowly convinced him he was letting his family down every time he got on a plane?  
What if Sam’s plea to his brother to not give up had felt all too personal, when he himself was so close to breaking down and letting go?  
None of that mattered, because he had a job to do and people depending on him – and he had screwed up.

Jensen, on the other hand, had a pretty good idea of what was going on.  
He’d seen it coming, in the way his best friend had been more quiet and reserved, not taking the lead in conversation and counting on him to speak for the both of them. He’d even stopped teasing Misha, allowing him to get through his scenes without reducing him to a laughing mess.  
  
Jared was an amazing person, a talented actor and one of the strongest men he’d ever met – and yet sometimes his brain would pull the breaks.  
Depression wasn’t something he could control, it was a part of his being and as much as he hated it, Jensen had learnt how to help his friend get through it. That didn’t make it any easier to witness.

He wished there was an on and off button, that he could just say the right words and make it all better – but there wasn’t, so being there for him was the next best thing.  
That’s what he’d tried to do, while he watched his partner struggling to get the words out, spiraling in the panic that his inability to work was causing him. Grabbing him, tell him he got it, making sure the others allowed him the space he needed, and trying to convey all the support he could in that last, final hug.

“We’ve all had bad days on set, buddy. You don’t have to beat yourself up over this.” He tried.

Once again, Jared looked at him. He looked tired, his eyes were watery and Jensen easily guessed he’d been crying.

“Not me, _not you_. Not that bad, at least.” Argued the other.

“It turned out great, though. The scene was worth it.”

Jared scoffed, clearly disagreeing, and Jensen put a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey! None of that. It was: just wait till people see it. Whatever happened, you got through it and kicked its ass.”

The shadow of a smile crossed the youngest’ face, then he nodded.

“Maybe.” He sighed, losing himself in his thoughts for a second.

Jensen just watched him, well aware that he needed to think this through.

“I hated it.” He admitted after a while. “It felt like I was living my worst nightmare in front of everybody, and there was nothing I could do about it. I don’t know how to put it into words, it’s like there was a barrier between what I knew I was supposed to do, and my ability to do it…”  
He ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

“You don’t have to explain yourself, I get it.”

“What if it happens again?” He murmured. “What if this is just how it’s gonna be now?”

“Wow, slow down. It’s not. You’ve been Sam Winchester for fourteen years, man. One bad night and you think all that’s erased? No way. You’re gonna be like new today. And even if it takes a bit longer, it doesn’t matter. We’re all here for you. _I’_ m here for you. Whatever you need, brother.” 

While talking, Jensen got closer to his friend, gently putting a hand on his neck to force him to lock their eyes.

“You’re the best actor I’ve ever worked with. What you and I have done with this show? That doesn’t happen to just everyone. It’s one in a million, and it wouldn’t have been possible if you didn’t have it in you. So what if you struggle sometimes? You took that and made into something great, something that helps people. You’ve always bounced back, and this is no different. You’ve got a lot of folks that have your back, me and Gen first of all. If you need to go home, go. Be with your kids. And if you wanna get back to work instead, just trust me when I tell you everything’s gonna be just fine.”

Jared looked at him for a few seconds, one tear escaping his eyes, before giving up and hugging Jensen, who had somehow once again managed to say the right thing. For the second time that night, they were in each other’s arms – this time, though, it was just them: the Winchesters had had their time to fix each other, it was their turn now.

He wasn’t sure he believed everything he’d told him, but that voice in his head had gotten significantly quieter after hearing it. He wasn’t magically okay, but he was damn glad to have people like Jensen in his life.

“Thank you.” He said after a couple seconds, ready to break the hug, aware Ackles wasn’t the biggest fan of physical contact.  
The former just tightened his hold and prolonged the moment, pulling a Dean Winchester and putting his friend’s needs before his own. Not that he really minded.

They stood like that for a while, before stepping back.  
“You should try to get some shut eye.” Suggested Jensen.

Already picturing how that would go – anxiety taking over again as soon as he was alone , a whole lot of over thinking and no sleep at all – he shook his head.  
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He concluded, suppressing a self-deprecating laugh. “You go ahead, though. I’m fine.” He continued.

Perspective as ever, Jensen just headed to the couch, petting Koda on the head as she moved towards the kitchen.

“Nah, I’m good.” He said, getting comfortable and turning on the tv on some weird channel that he’d never heard before. He gestured for Jared to come join, which he did, and they just sat there in comfortable silence for a few minutes.

Before he knew it, Jared was asleep, and Jensen was texting his producer to see if they could start shooting a couple hours later.

Depression and anxiety would never leave him for good and he was always going to have bad days, but as he watched his best friend snoring lightly next to him, Jensen vowed to never let him go through it alone.

\--

Months later, they were sitting in front of thousands of people, miles and miles away from their set or their home, acting like dumbasses and having the time of their life for the people who supported their work, when of them took the mic.

“Hi! My name’s Ashley, I’m from Hale, Pennsylvania. My question was, what was it like filming that scene in Prophet and Loss? That scene at the end, when you punch Dean in the face. I have to say, that was a very, very powerful scene…”

The crowd broke into an applause, and they both couldn’t help but smile at each other, Jensen smirking knowingly and Jared getting ready to tell the story – because maybe that had been the lowest point in his career, but that didn’t mean nothing good could come of it; and if learning about his demons would help someone deal with theirs, then Jared could only assume it was worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope I didn't butcher their personalities. I wasn't too sure I wanted to post this story, but here it is.
> 
> I didn't have a beta and english isn't my first language, so I'd appreciate it if you could let me know of any mistakes you could find.  
> Let me know what you think.  
> Hope y'all enjoyed!


End file.
